Why I’m a Christian

Seven and a half years ago, I was brought to the end of myself when the last piece of hope – or rather, what I had thought was my last piece of hope – was taken from me and I was utterly alone. A girl I had loved and then worshiped for a year and a half left me, understandably, after struggling with me and my debilitating depression for almost a year.  Having dropped out of college after only one semester, no job, no driver’s license, and sleeping 12 hours a day, and now alone, it was at this moment that I realized I was incapable of making the decisions that I needed to.  I could no longer run my own life.  The night of the breakup, in desperation and for fear I would die of utter nothingness, I cried out to Jesus and asked HIM to run my life for me.  An overwhelming sense of comfort I had not felt in a long time embraced me, and for the rest of the night my tears stopped.

It was not an easy week that followed.  I was sad, I was angry at her, sometimes I vowed to win her back.  But the whole time I could actually seem to hear the Holy Spirit whispering to me, not in words but in pictures I could see in my mind, of things I had to do for ME, not her.  Two months later, I had a job, a license, and I was over her.  COMPLETELY.  I can’t explain it other than this: I was content.  And I was hearing God everyday.  He seemed to tell me everything to do – when to call someone, when to give a hug to my sister, when to buy something (usually when NOT to buy something)… it was the strangest thing.  When I obeyed, my life was smooth.  When I doubted what I was hearing, there was a “bump in the road of life,” if you catch my drift.  Could Jesus have actually taken me up on my plea, to run my life for me?  YEP!

A YEAR TO THE DAY OF THE BREAKUP, I was at Elim Bible Institute, looking for direction, wanting to do whatever God said to do.  I thought I would be in the ministry.  I didn’t know what that meant.  A year later, I couldn’t afford to go back, and my faith wavered.  I wondered if I was hearing correctly.  Then I received an offer from the parents of one of my Elimite buddies.  They wanted me to move to their home, 300 miles away, and they would help me with my debt, get me out of a volatile home life, and plug me into a great church.

It was God.  I accepted.

I met a girl here.  Getting married seemed impossible – until all the pieces fell into place.  She’s my wife now.  I met a counselor here – he helped me find my calling – my ministry – counseling.  So now I’m going to school here.  It was all God.

I’m a Christian because Jesus is real.  He is not an idea or a concept, He is not just a figure in history.  He is not a religion or a magic formula.  He is a person, a friend.  He is alive! And He runs my life.  He has not failed me once.  I trust and believe in a real God.